Don't Piss on my Leg and Tell me it's RAINING

Some of you may know I work in a [university redacted] library. It's a fun way to make money. It gives me some time to blog, health benefits and a relative enjoyment of my job.

Every so often, though, I get some particularly cantankerous and annoying people. Some highlights of questions I am asked:

"Can I take out books with my NY Public Library Card?"
No, moron, we're a uni[explative deleted]versity!

Idiot: "This book, [Title] is on reserve. Can you get it for me?"
Sherbs: "Do you have a call number?"
I: "Well, no. But can you get it for me?"
S: "Get me a call number"
I: [rolls eyes]
S: [under breath] "You are a complete and udder idiot. How did you make it this far in life?!"

"Can you go and pull this book for me?"
No, dumbass, I can't. I have other things to do with my time. Go get it yourself.

[ED NOTE, Background: In order to keep things running smoothly, I've been sending out emails to patrons with overdue books or large fines.]

And, today, the pièce de résistance: an actual email:

Dear Sherbs,

I returned the book yesterday to the container outside the library entrance.

I would just like to say that I am astonished to be receiving an overdue notice after 40 days! All the other university libraries send out a courtesy notice on the or around the day the book is due to give a patron a chance to return it immediately. I think [institution redacted] library purposely withholds the overdue information from its patrons in order to take a financial advantage on them.

Best regards,
Superdumbasswhodoesn'tevengohere

May I just say, WHAT? Be responsible, please. Not our fault you're a month late. Rememberyou had to do this yourself? No? Why? Oh! You're an idiot. Of course!