Beer-Glazed Pinto Beans and Penne, Pedant Style

New protip: do not wipe your brow after slicing hot peppers from the CSA. It burns. For a while.

Was out of ideas for dinner, and forgot I had tuna casserole in the fridge, so I made pasta with a variation of Bittman's beer-glazed black beans for the sauce. First I threw some hot peppers from this week's CSA box into a pan of hot olive oil and ground black pepper. Then I sauteed the too-sharp red onion remainders from last week. Once that was done, I added a cup of Amstel Light (I drank the rest), orange blossom honey, pinto beans, and red pepper flakes (to ensure spiciness). Into this I put nearly-cooked whole wheat penne.

It's a little sweeter than I expected, but it has a nice burn on it that makes it quite tasty. Works really well with parmesan (what doesn't)?

Lunch Lessons Learned Today

As I'm home and searching for jobs, I am now making lunch out of what we have in the pantry at the moment, and trying not to subsist entirely on Fiber One™ bars (or their Special K equivalent which have extra warnings for fibrousness) and fifty-cent ramen. This would be easy except that I am lazy and occasionally suffer from what I call "food aphasia," which is where I look into a fridge at raw ingredients and say, "how does this become food"?

Today, I made food in two steps. I cooked up some Uncle Ben's "Country Inn Mexican Fiesta" rice, adding a can of Goya red kidney beans for complete protein-icity. I then heated up a Quorn cutlet with some of Mark Bittman's tomato chutney.

Lessons learned:

• Quorn is good with tomato chutney.
• Uncle Ben's "Mexican Fiesta" is about as Mexican as the taco stand at McFadden's on Cinco de Mayo (the Hawk & Dove in Southeast also has a similar stand on offer, but McFadden's manages to keep its ground floor from smelling like urine, thus making it a classier establishment despite the Georgetown frat boys). The rice is also pretty tasteless.
  
• The "Mexican Fiesta" rice does not go that well with tomato chutney.
• However, it tastes great mixed with the extra-spicy version of Bittman's onion chutney that the Sherbs cooked up for our Sunday hot dog party.

That's lunch. Now back to the job hunt.

April Foods!

Man, I haven't posted in a while. I guess I've been too busy catching up on Kings, the biblically-themed monarchy drama that is, as my sister so often says, "awesome sauce." And not just because it stars Ian McShane, the voice of the killer leopard in Kung Fu Panda.

Anyway, the Sherbs and I have been making plenty of tasty food. This Saturday we went back to the Book of a Million Zillion Curries (comic book reference explained here) for dinner, and made both the tasty tea and chickpea curry and a curry of French green lentils and too much spinach. Turns out the recipe makes something like eight cups of food, so I'm glad we broke out the big pot; it's not easy to wilt two pounds of spinach in boiling water already full of lentils. Also: it made the water turn really green.

What was kind of interesting about the spinach/lentil curry is that it basically was boiled spinach and lentils with what I'd call a "sauteed pico de gallo" tossed in during the last fifteen minutes. If tomatoes were in season, there would probably be a bit more flavor (also, we ran short of cumin - who keeps track of how much cumin they have?), but the spinach was otherwise tasty and a good counterpoint to the chickpeas, which were spicy.

The chickpea spiciness could be in part due to the serious chopping of the serrano chiles in that recipe; we have an off-brand Slap Chop® (for immature but hilarious parody, click here; for incident involving the Slap Chop® pitchman and a prostitute, click here) that does in fact make short work of garlic, ginger, and serrano peppers, rendering them into tiny bits in a matter of moments. With more pepper surface area exposed to the oil in the pan, we got more spiciness.

Tomorrow's dinner will involve another salad from the Benedictine monks. This one will require me to make carrot matchsticks tonight. Wish me luck; I can never get them small enough.

Food Protip

Thing I just learned:
Thai garlic and chili sauce, in small amounts, does not take very long to burst all over one's microwave if left uncovered. Like, twenty seconds, tops.

Semi-Korean

I had some great leftovers for lunch.

Mark Bittman's vegetarian cookbook had a forty-minute soup which is just as good, if not better, the second day. It's Korean-inspired, and involves frying up some carrots, garlic, daikon, chili peppers, and cabbage in sesame oil, then adding vegetable stock and letting it cook.

It worked out really well, although next time I'm trying "beef" stock. Also, I'm getting Asian chilis from the "Bangkok 54" grocery, next to the "looks way better on the website than it does in reality" restaurant of the same name.

Book Recommendations, Etc.

I have just recently acquired a copy of James Lileks's Gastroanomalies, the sequel to his modern classic The Gallery of Regrettable Food, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is hilarious.

I do not just say that so that Lileks's lifestyle, which is that of a stay-at-home dad who makes extra cash by posting funny things on the internet, is still available for me in twenty years. Lileks's witty mockery of bad food concepts of yesteryear (although, I must confess, I am tempted in an inexplicable way to want to try the corned beef in beef-flavored gelatin) is as good as it ever was (unlike, say, Toby Keith).

Currently, the Sherbs and I are trying a Grand Chili Experiment in the slow cooker. We put in corn, beans, two cans of tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, a small can of mild chili peppers, mustard powder, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, garlic powder, half of a large onion, one whole bell pepper, and a whole mess o' TVP. We set the slow cooker on "forever" last night, and we'll see, come dinnertime, how it all turns out.

Desperately Trying to Become the World's Repository of Dr. Pepper Recipes

People who tell you that dropping a shot into beer makes it taste like Dr. Pepper are lying to you. Also, why are people making Coca-Cola® and liquor taste like Dr. Pepper when they could just buy Dr. Pepper?

In Dr. Pepper food adventures news, the Dr. Pepper steak marinade (which, as you'd know if you clicked on the link, is primarily Dr. Pepper, lime juice, soy sauce, and "hot sauce") might work if the author told us what "hot sauce" meant. Some people think it means Tabasco®. I, personally, prefer Crystal Louisiana Hot Sauce, which as far as I can tell is basically cayenne peppers and vinegar. However, the more I think about it, the more it's probably a good idea for this marinade to go with a chili paste from your local Asian market.

In my mind, the flavor you'd get then is like the sweet but hot and spicy beef jerky I ate in Hong Kong, whose name I don't think I ever knew. I just referred to it as "Chinese Death Jerky." It had whole hot pepper seeds clinging to the sides, under the sugar crust.

Anyone know its real name?

More on Beef n' Broc

Since I spent some time talking to Sherbs about the proper way to make beef and broccoli, even with soy "steak strips" (it includes cornstarch), I thought I should interject here that Chinese food is always better with just enough starch. Also, chili pepper.

Back before we were eating healthy, my mother used to make something called "double-fried noodles," where she'd make noodles, then fry the noodles in a pan so they had crispy outsides and a soft, noodly center. This would be served as an accent to another Chinese dish, like kung pao chicken. Man, I'd like to have some of those noodles again.

Although, on second thought, my trips in the East have taught me the value of a good white rice. Goes with anything.