Lies, damnable lies!

The New York Times, where Jayson Blair spun his web of deceit, is once again spreading foul lies; this time, they write that "Dr. Pepper is a Republican soda."

The Sherbs and I would disagree. We are, at the very least, not reliable Republican voters (and some would say we're somewhat further on the "not-Republican" spectrum than that). And yet, we drink Dr. Pepper. I have a can sitting next to me right now.

Dr. Pepper knows no politics. It's "Republican-ness" is probably solely due to the fact that it's a Texas-based beverage, and Texas tilts Republican right now. When Ann Richards was the governor, Dr. Pepper was a Democratic beverage, I'm sure.

Dr. Pepper is also available in Canada, where I am fairly certain it is not associated with the Conservative Party (I'd personally hope that it's not the beverage of the Liberal Party either, but instead the Bloc Quebecois).

Maybe Free Dr. Pepper?

As many of you in the Pepper-sphere have long known, Dr. Pepper has offered a free can to every citizen of these great United States (suck it, Canadians! Our drink! As the LOLcats say, "not yours"!) should Guns 'n Roses finally release the album they've been "working" on for fifteen years.

Evidently, now that the money's on the table, Axl Rose has decided that soaking the Waco-based subsidiary of Cadbury-Schweppes is way better than an eternal asymptotic search towards artistic perfection. The "Chinese Democracy" album is allegedly in the hands of the record label.

Take me down to Paradise City, where evidently all citizens get a free can of Dr. Pepper.

Dr. Pepper Post!

They now have Dr. Pepper-flavored lip gloss.

Also, a blogger vindicates my obsession with putting commercial beverages into food (he calls it an extension of the "found art" movement).

According to a post on the Chicago Moms' Blog, there is a cupcake establishment that makes Dr. Pepper flavored cupcakes. However, that offering is not currently in their flavors of the week.

Finally, Dr. Pepper pork chops. Honestly, any meat cooked in four cups of Dr. Pepper, brown sugar, garlic, onion, cloves, ginger, and pepper will be pretty darned tasty. I think a strong case could be made for chicken breast.

I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, Blog a Pepper...

I haven't blogged about Dr. Pepper recently. So here's a post.

The Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco, Texas has a shiny new website.

I'd provide new drink recipes, but other than variations on the Flaming Dr. Pepper (which uses no Dr. Pepper), there aren't any popping up on my Google Alerts. I am, for some reasons, getting links that, from the URLs, appear to be of videos of men having sex with other men. I am not sure why Google thinks this is related to Dr. Pepper. "Dr. Pepper makes men gay" is a googlenope.

Okay, that's not entirely true. I did find this recipe supposedly for "cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper" which involves no cherries. Just amaretto, which is almonds and apricot pits in liquor.

The recipe also calls for vanilla extract. Who are you that you're so desperate for hooch that you have to use vanilla extract instead of one of the eight brands of vanilla vodka out there? I know a fair-sized bottle of Stoli Vanil can be had for not that much money.

I am not sure where I was going with this.

Blogger AppleCider5946 impugns the place of Dr. Pepper in American life:

There was a time in America when Mom[']s homemade apple pies and cakes were a treat you got to eat once in a while . . . [n]ow mass produced candies and cakes are available almost everywhere you go. Some Americans are in a quagmire stuffing themselves with donuts, Twinkies, and Ring Dings for breakfast, lunch and dinner then washing it all down with a Dr. Pepper.

As someone who may be having Diet Dr. Pepper with cup noodles (24 cups for less than $6 at Costco!) for a snack later today, I resent the implication that Dr. Pepper is on par with Twinkies, a snack food not even the Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association can totally get behind.

In support of AppleCider5946's theory, however, a Google search quickly reveals that Americans obsessed with Transformers hold that "[m]y favorite recipe is to mix canned chili with Dr. Pepper and malted chocolate milk balls to make a damn fine gumbo." Given the nature of the community that was posted in, I am not clear if that was serious. But it may well be.

Sadly, a search on "Dr. Pepper brings joy to humanity" was, until I just mentioned it in this blog, a Googlenope. Also: "Jesus loves Dr. Pepper," "Dr. Pepper cures cancer," and "Dr. Pepper is an alternative fuel for the future."

However, "Dr. Pepper, the Drink of Kings" gives you this site.

Anyway, Dr. Pepper can completely be a part of a balanced diet. And for the record, sugary cereals were worse in the days of apple pies cooling on the shelves than they are now - sugar was considered a vital nutrient. Like how tobacco smoke soothed the throat.

Cake recipes, for good or for ill

Godiva Chocolate's recipe this month is for a "Scary Monster Cake." Chocolate-syrup soaked sponge layers glued together with chocolate-caramel mousse filling and iced with more chocolate are not scary or monstrous in the least.


Some people allege that replacing Dr. Pepper with mashed banana in a cake recipe yields useful results. I am skeptical; the Sherbs, not so enamored of the banana, surely disagrees. I do have to wonder, though, while all Dr. Pepper cakes seem to be chocolate cakes with Dr. Pepper in them (see also: chocolate cake mix with Dr. Pepper). Wouldn't it be just as tasty to make Dr. Pepper the primary flavor - a cake that makes the world taste better?

Foulest Dr. Pepper Drink Yet!

The "Algae" - vodka, Dr. Pepper, and Hawaiian Punch.

I'd rather have "Punchy" sock me one.

Mixed Food-Like Liquids With More Than Dr. Pepper

Weirdest Dr. Pepper recipe concept so far: "root beer jelly" with Dr. Pepper substituted in. Pectin makes any beverage a spreadable treat!

In more palatable foods, evidently Elvis Presley liked a tablespoon of beer mixed in with his maple syrup while it was being heated. I think the earthy taste of beer syrup would go well with whole wheat or buckwheat pancakes, although I'd still like to put a giant unhealthy pat of butter (or a moderately-sized pat of I Can Believe It Is Simulated Butter) inside the stack to melt milk-fatty goodness throughout.

Food Network to make you drink

First, another person vindicates my view of Sandra Lee. "Diner Girl" at the blog French Laundry at Home, while discussing the making of a beautiful vegetable tart, also disses Sandra Lee for her clear cultural cluelessness.

I must say, though, that Sandra Lee is infinitely better than Giada de Laurentis, who only acts dumb. On her travel show she pretended not to know how to shell a crab with a mallet, despite the fact that everyone else in the restaurant was visibly doing the same. I think that was her way of flirting with the waiter. It was both phony and creepy.

Which brings us to the next subject: new Dr. Pepper mixed drinks.

Someone recently posted a high-proof rum/amaretto/Dr. Pepper beverage called the "Howling Dingo" which has nothing to do with Australia but will probably eat your baby. My gosh, that's a lot of alcohol in a small package.

Then there is the charmingly simple "Dr. Jack #2": one shot of Jack Daniels into a can's worth of Dr. Pepper. Sadly, Dr. Jack is not the kind of creativity encouraged by Dr. Fad, although one wonders how long one can milk being the inventor of the wacky wall-walker.

Dr. Pepper Makes Treif Taste Better

Pregnant Mormons do not want Dr. Pepper in their Mexican pork. I think because it has caffeine. However, Weight Watchers seems to endorse the Diet Dr. Pepper in barbecue pork concept. Others are for "ham in a Dutch oven" with Dr. Pepper.

I'm waiting for the Iron Chef with pork and Dr. Pepper to see how Bobby Flay does.

Also, evidently, three years ago Dr. Pepper fulfilled my anime dreams.

Stop Writing the Letters!

Evidently, the Dr. Pepper slurpee already exists. Just not anywhere near me.

Sloppy Joseph

My mother makes sloppy joes by mixing ground protein (sometimes it's veggie) with ketchup, mustard, and a spice blend.

Other people use Dr. Pepper, hot sauce, and tomato paste. It doesn't sound too bad, although it might be more of a risk with textured vegetable protein than the ketchup/mustard recipe.

The Dr. Pepper Slurpee

Diana of Princess D'Tiara wants to petition for Dr. Pepper-flavored Slurpee™s. This is a plausible position, as 7-Eleven already carries Coca-Cola® and Mountain Dew® flavored Slurpees.

However, Dr. Pepper is, domestically, the Dr. Pepper/Seven Up Corporation, a subsidiary of London-based drink maker and clucking bunny purveyor Cadbury/Schweppes (how do I know this? It's at Dr. Pepper.com, folks!). Sadly, this may mean that they are locked into a franchise deal with one of the two Atlanta-based vaguely sinister megacorporations (Ted Turner founded the other before he started trying to rip people off with not enough buffalo at Ted's Montana Grill - I won't go back to your Atlanta restaurant again, Mr. Jane Fonda!).

Still, for those of you willing to hope against hope, the 7-Eleven webpage offers the following succor:

Sell to Us: If you have a unique product or service that would appeal to 7-Eleven customers, we want to know about it.

7-Eleven, Inc.
Corporate Headquarters
P.O. Box 711
Dallas, TX 75221-0711
Phone: 972-828-7011

I could not find an equivalent address for Dr. Pepper; their site is limited to a feedback form. You could try that form, or you could write Cadbury-Schweppes:

Cadbury Schweppes Americas Beverages
5301 Legacy Drive
3rd Floor
Plano, TX 75024

So, folks, that's where your heartfelt letters go. Let me know if you send one.

More Dr. Pepper Musings

First, I learned that, for some, Diet Dr. Pepper assuages the grief that comes from the loss of a loved one:

Ralph F. Stayer, who founded Johnsonville Sausage Co., died June 25 in Naples at the age of 92. To celebrate his life, Alice Stayer, his partner in business and in life, organized a party to enjoy her husband’s passion — bratwursts.

* * *

The assembly line started with rolls, then freshly grilled bratwursts, sauerkraut and pasta salad. It ended with soda, water and a friendly greeting by Stayer’s son, Ralph C. Stayer, 64.

“I just love Diet Dr. Pepper,” he shared with a smile on his face. “Here, take this one. You have to try it.”

Now, for what I've been thinking about since Thursday evening: Dr. Pepper salad dressing. I think it might work, along the lines of a raspberry balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I think there's a way that Dr. Pepper, apple cider vinegar, and olive oil could work together.

Or maybe I need more sleep.

What, No Dr. Pepper? Well, perhaps that's for the best.

I found, while trolling the internet for new recipes, a fascinating salad recipe out of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. However, the recipe is a little vague in the details (I've highlighted where):

• 1 bunch of Swiss chard
• 1 bunch spinach
• 1/2 head lettuce
• 3-4 small summer squashes
• 1/2 cup cherries
• 10-20 basil leaves
• 1/4 cup pecans
• 2-3 ounces of cheese, diced into cubes
• Salad dressing
  

You know, there could be a really huge difference in end product depending on what cheese and salad dressing are used, and in what combination. For example, Velveeta® and caesar salad dressing do not marry well. Nor does Dr. Pepper luau dressing seem like a good choice.

If it were up to me, I'd go with gorgonzola or a blue cheese and a vinaigrette salad dressing. I think that would work best. Also, I'd candy the pecans.

Desperately Trying to Become the World's Repository of Dr. Pepper Recipes

People who tell you that dropping a shot into beer makes it taste like Dr. Pepper are lying to you. Also, why are people making Coca-Cola® and liquor taste like Dr. Pepper when they could just buy Dr. Pepper?

In Dr. Pepper food adventures news, the Dr. Pepper steak marinade (which, as you'd know if you clicked on the link, is primarily Dr. Pepper, lime juice, soy sauce, and "hot sauce") might work if the author told us what "hot sauce" meant. Some people think it means Tabasco®. I, personally, prefer Crystal Louisiana Hot Sauce, which as far as I can tell is basically cayenne peppers and vinegar. However, the more I think about it, the more it's probably a good idea for this marinade to go with a chili paste from your local Asian market.

In my mind, the flavor you'd get then is like the sweet but hot and spicy beef jerky I ate in Hong Kong, whose name I don't think I ever knew. I just referred to it as "Chinese Death Jerky." It had whole hot pepper seeds clinging to the sides, under the sugar crust.

Anyone know its real name?

The Internet Lies to You

Drinknation.com has a mixed drink consisting of Bailey's Irish Cream and Dr. Pepper.

As you may remember, I've done that once. It is super-foul as the Bailey's curdles.

I know the recipe says to shoot it, but still, yuck.

So, kids - don't try every mixed drink recipe off the internet.

Mixed Drinks Dancing Around the Concept of Dr. Pepper

The Google Alert troll has brought in a significant number of items about beverages, of which a selection follows.

A blogger named Laurel has been kumquat-infusing vodka. I'm not sure how much I love kumquats, although I haven't had a flavored vodka I hated (although the cheap coconut-flavored vodka I picked up last week for a party was way too strong on the coconut). There was a place in Union Square I used to go to for Korean food (the Sherbs may remember it) where they infused their own rice liquor with lychee or ginger. I preferred the ginger, personally.

Someone else does what I used to do at fast food places, which is pour three or four drink types into the same cup at the fountain. Here, the mix was half fruit punch, half Dr. Pepper. I used to tolerate that, then I realized that it tastes horrific.

Finally, it turns out that commercial maraschino cherries, which I used last weekend to top brownie sundaes, have one of the ingredients of Dr. Pepper. Therefore, the link just mentioned shows you how to make ones that are closer to fruit than lab experiment.

I'm still interested in Dr. Pepper hot wings, though.

I Know How To Party

A new recipe just popped up on About.com: Dr. Pepper Chocolate Cake. Supposedly it's Texan, which makes sense - evidently Dr. Pepper is some sacred beverage of Texas, a fact which Dr. Pepper probably hides these days due to the unpopularity of the President (or lingering hatred for Lyndon Baines Johnson).

Searching the internet, I found the Texas equivalent of a Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte; however, despite the use of Dr. Pepper, the former is far less appetizing due to its combination of yellow cake and JELL-O®. Who makes that more than once?

With all of these Dr. Pepper recipes I'm finding, I could have an entire dinner party consisting solely of Dr. Pepper foods, from Dr. Pepper appetizers to Dr. Pepper soup course to Dr. Pepper dessert. To drink: Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper.

No! Just kidding! That would be overkill (back when I was in law school, I had two twelve-packs of Dr. Pepper in my fridge, and you get kinda weird if you drink too many cans of Dr. Pepper in a short period of time). Water would be good.

I Did Not Invent the Acronym "DPQ"

Evidently, Cadbury-Schweppes, the beverage company that not only made John Cleese gush about Schweppervescence, but bottles Dr. Pepper (in the US, I believe; in the UK, a strike may soon threaten Dr. Pepper supplies), is going the Jack Daniels route and making some Dr. Pepper licenced barbecue sauces.

People in Texas are already cooking with Dr. Pepper. However, the Dr. Pepper barbecue sauce ("DPQ" in the vernacular of many Texans) predates commercialization, although, after a web search, there seem to be only three major recipes:

1. The "large juicy lemon, A1, and Worcesteshire sauce" recipe;
2. The wimpy "minced onion, garlic powder, and crushed red pepper" recipe; and
3. a recipe involving Dr. Pepper syrup, crushed tomatoes, and liquid smoke.

This is not including the separate, not strictly "barbecue" recipes of Dr. Pepper flank steak and Dr. Pepper hot wings. I am all about the Dr. Pepper hot wings.