Faux Burger Time!

Last night was a party for "the awards show," whose name I do not mention because the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has registered it, just as the National Football League compels me to refer to their football championship as "the Big Game" unless I have their express permission (at least they've backed off on preventing churches from showing the Big Game).

The Sherbs and I had a party for the show. We made many foods tenuously (but amusingly) themed on various nominated movies. I was responsible for vegetarian mini-cheeseburgers, which were related to this year's winner for Best Original Screenplay.

The mini-burgers were facilitated by shopping trips to both Costco and the Teet. The ingredients:

• Martin's Famous Potato Dinner Rolls
• Dehydrated chopped onion
• Original flavor Boca Burgers
• Kraft fat free American cheese slices

First, I sliced the Boca burgers in fourths after a little defrosting. I won't defrost them next time; they get gooey and almost as bad as raw meat (which is no good because ground chuck is so much tastier). I then cooked the burger fourths, melting the cheese on top, and reserved them for later.

In a small bowl, I placed the dehydrated onions in water and let it sit for a while as I was cooking the burgers. I also halved the rolls and lightly toasted them in the toaster oven.

Once all the cheese patties were done, I laid the toasted burger bottoms a large Pyrex cooking plate. I then put on a small amount of the rehydrated onion, topped it with the cheese patty, and finished it with a bun top. I put the Pyrex into the oven at 250 degrees for ten minutes, then left it on "Warm" until the party.

The verdict: more White Castle-y than I was hoping for - actually pretty tasty. Might add a pickle slice or finish with ketchup next time; the burger can take the extra flavor.